On my drive home earlier, I rubbed my forehead, and it felt like there was a giant bruise in the middle of it. I then realized that I had been clenching my jaw all day today. I relaxed my mouth and felt so much relief, but my jaw and gums felt like they’re exhausted and still feel really tingly. And the headache hasn’t gone away.
The anxiety was real today. Too real. :((((((
I’m actively trying to free up some mental space these days, and it’s like my mind is having withdrawals. My mind is so used to having all these unanswered questions, and now that I’m working on seeing things more clearly, my brain is short-circuiting.
This hasn’t been easy.
Facing myself, realizing all the ugly, staring at it all in the face, is so fucking difficult.
Im in between finalizing the itinerary for my sister’s bachelorette party weekend, writing the speech for her wedding, and continuing on my novella. And watching Californication.
If I can somehow manage to bury my head in enough work, I’m sure I’ll figure out what I want to do with my love life somewhere along this dirt road.
I wonder if the dust ever settles. If, with enough patience and good beer, I can unravel this mystery.
Nobody wants honesty when looking at a perfect frame.